Since becoming a mom, there is one thing that I CANNOT stand. Negative comments. Yes, I would consider myself to be a fairly glass half full kind of girl, but I'm talking about the things people say about their kids that blows me away, and should for everyone, even if you aren't the most positive person. With that being said, being a parent is hard. And everyone needs to vent about how hard it can be sometimes. And I'm not saying that things are always sunshine and daisies around here. And there are those times when I tell Mike - hold her, now, I need a minute. What I'm talking about are the ridiculous comments that make people appear to really hate their children, or parenting, or both. Or the comments that make you feel like you need to be in some type of "I can't stand my kids, so neither should you" club.
For some reason, when many people talk about their kids with other people, the phrase, "well, you just wait," seems to come up more than I would like to believe. Whether they had their kids a few years ago, or a few decades ago, it seems to be the same. When Everly was first born, it was, "well you just wait until you never sleep, can't take a shower, and forget what makeup is,". That just wasn't my experience, and when we had a baby that slept, and slept well [thank you co-sleeping], it was, "well, you just wait until she starts moving around. Your life will be hell,". She started crawling, and early at that, and guess what? We survived. Yes, we are one our toes much more, and she taught us how to baby proof the house, but come on people, I've got one baby, and she's fast, but it is SO manageable. Now we get, "well, you just wait until she starts walking, then you are really going to be in trouble,". Ok folks, do you get where I'm going with this? It seems like people like harping on the challenges with parenting, and not the good parts. If you really hated parenting that much, maybe you shouldn't have had so many kids. If you resent your offspring, you don't need to bring me down, just because I don't. Or there is always the old saying, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Kids are not for everyone. I get it. If every person on the planet was meant to have ten, we would have a problem. I was meant for one. And one is what I have. The Mr. and I are the first to have kids in our close group of friends, and I hope I would never say some of the things to my friends that people have said to us. I hope when it comes time for them to have kids, I have awesome parenting tricks and tips to share, not a list of how their life is forever going to suck.
So, my point to this rant would be, why are so many parent conversations filled with negativity? Why do we have to one up each other on the challenges, or tell people their life is going to suck once they get to where they are currently in the parenting cycle? I never feel the need to say back, "well, you just wait until I'm busting your kid in the sixth grade for getting high at lunch," because, really, what good does that do? I hope that in my small circle of friends we can change how we view our role as parents. It is about being honest with our lives with kids, and sure, there will be some comments here and there, but for people on the outside, let's not be so snarky. I love getting to compare mommy stories with my friends, and even when we talk about the unforeseen challenges, we talk in a way of support, and not negativity. Kids should not ruin your life. And if you are afraid in the slightest that they are going to, don't have them. And with that being said, here's some of my favorite new photos of Everly, who for the record has not ruined my life! I have learned now that she's mobile, we need a distracting prop to keep her still, and half way photogenic. So, from now on, expect her to be holding something in all photos!
Everly may or may not have eaten a flower petal at the end of this mini-shoot.
oops, mom fail
