When I went back to work in March, I was NOT ready. Due to some misinformation from HR, I was originally going to be out until April, and going back a month early just threw me for a loop. I was emotional, upset, moody, and most of all, did not want to talk about it. Summer could not come quick enough, and man, I have enjoyed being a stay at home mama. At the beginning of summer I told the mr. that I wanted to spend every minute with Everly, like, every minute. However, something strange happened a few weeks back. I started to think about going back to work, and I didn't have the same reaction as the first time. I began to realize that I was having a very hard time being a mom, all day long, every single minute. Sure, the mr. was there in the evenings to help, but guess what, Everly will have her mommy moments, and just need me. And lately it seemed like those times were happening way more frequently, and it was hard. Even though Everly is such an amazing baby, I found myself feeling very overwhelmed by it all, and needed to do something else. The other night I started sweeping outside, and the mr. offered to do it for me. I politely told him no, I NEEDED to sweep right then, and I NEEDED him to hold Everly. And so that's what we did.
Sure, there are so many things I am going to miss about being at home with Everly. But here is the thing, I don't have the option to be a stay at home mom, and if I did, I would probably feel different about things. But I have to work, so I better make the best of things. Maybe that's what my brain is doing right now, tricking me, and I'm ok with that. Your attitude when it comes to life makes such a big difference with everything, big or small. This week I've been back in the classroom, and my kids come on Thursday. We are getting back to our routine with Everly, and she is doing great. Because this girl loves her daddy, and does so amazing with him, especially when it is just the two of them. So I will share her. I think if I was always at home he would never get to have the type of relationship with her that I so greatly want for them. Not to mention, I really do love my career, and I think that is also key. I will work hard this year to figure out my balance with home and class, be thankful that I am done with my masters, learn to cook healthy dinners for one and a half people, and hopefully get back to blogging some more of my classroom this year. I really missed not having the passion for posting last school year, it just wasn't in me. So we will see, I only make half promises.
And on a side note, I won this little treasure today at our professional development. Thank you pinterest for giving this idea to our leadership team. I think it may stay in tact on my desk for some time. It is just TOO pretty!